Taj - The Showhorse

Taj - The Anxious

My birthday.

Messing with Taj #1

Groupon Goes to the Theatre

Taj: The Shit Disturber

My first movie.

This is my first movie and the subject: Donkey's fucked up knee.

At LAAAAST.... someone tells Nancy Grace the Truth.

Slumdog

LiLee keeps calling me Slumdog at work and I think it is hilarious... Until the story about one of the child actors losing his slum last week came out. Eh..Who am I kidding? I am an insensitive cow and I STILL think it is a funny nickname.

This is an AWESOME parody! I have always been annoyed with having to dress as the Indian version of celebrities or fictional characters but next year I am going to dress as the Slumdog American Idol.

Watch The Slumdog Price is Right and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

I want to see the new Star Trek movie

My big brother loved watching all the Star Trek series, he is enough of a fan to have a hierarchy of best to worst spin-offs... I think Voyager was the worst? The many years of watching Star Trek after school (while procrastinating on doing homework) have left there mark and I am dying to see this new movie.

Robin Thicke on The Daily Show

He comes from the whitest of white guys, but he has got soul!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
White in America - The Children
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Exceeding expectations or not. (read: Go big or go home)

Go Home.

Awkward.

Lots of things are awkward and I love pointing them out.... The Chicago Family like to create awkward moments and then rehash them over and over again. Case in point - Do you remember the story about the Cubs mug and the leather couch.... YIKES!


http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Lil Wayne on The View

Why?



How much cough syrup did he need to get through an interview with the hags from this show?

My guess is 3 bottles. Orange flava.

I HATE this kid

I would love it if someone could fill this guys mouth with concrete and skunk pelts.



This clip makes it pretty obvious that he knows nothing about hip hop but he knows a heck of a lot about annoying the shit out of me with his Frat boy, over-privileged, over-reaching sense of entitlement. Oh, I am sorry.. you listened to Hard Knock Life and thought "I could do this! It is easy! I am so rebellious!"

Seriously guys... someone needs to go to Home Depot to get a bag of cement or sawdust or manure.

WTF CTE!!!

CTE = cutest thing ever.

Your Welcome.

I think my cousin is a serial photobomber

Seriously guys... I think he needs help because he bombs photos all the time.

http://thisisphotobomb.com/

Cleveland really does rock... part 2

Is it fair for me to mock Vanilla Bear again with another Cleveland tourism video?

I think so.

Be Rad - Sporadic Contributor to the Brown Cow Blog

Be Rad was radical enough to send 2 solid links last month...

This is so disturbing and yet I laugh:
http://myfirstdictionary.blogspot.com/

Because we have all received one at some point in our lives:
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

I would have just eaten the squirrel

Cause I am into weird shit.

Breaking Bad News With Baby Animals

Cousin PBhar and I were at Urban Outfitters - aka Overpriced Hipster Dumpster - and found a book of postcards called "Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals".





This is the Taj edition, dedicated to PBhar.

Cleveland

My favourite part of this video is when we are introduced to West 6th Street because it the the place to hang if you're a d-bag. What is the Chicago equivalent of West 6th Street? Is it Lincoln Park, I hear that anyone that lives there is a d-bag.

Congratulations to the Macs on their new home purchase... in Lincoln Park. Don't worry, you guys are the exception to the rule.

Making me laugh, part 2

This is my new favourite comic... he is the comedian I have been waiting for! Russell Peters has moments where he is funny but for the most part his act relies heavily on stereotypes. This clip of Hari Kondabolu is much more intelligently written.

Also, he has an awesome comment about the Kohinoor diamond and the Queen:
"Fuck the Queen of England. She’s an old white bitch wearing my grandmother’s jewelry."

Having a bad day

I had a bad morning which turned into a bad day but this made me feel better.

Scotland's #1 Male Barbie

I love that the BBC has a show called "Snog, Marry, Avoid?"

Frankly, I have to agree with his brilliant idea of being the darkest person in the room. In fact, I am actually a white person, I just invest heavily in Black Opal foundation.

SWEATPANTS!!!

I never used to wear sweatpants, but actually rediscovered how awesome they are when I participated in Global Pillow Fight Day last year with the always feisty PBhar. I wore Donkey's old track sweats to the Art Institute with a pillow that said "Mama Said Knock You Out" and fought strangers for a few hours. I had feathers in my lungs and eyes for hours. Sweatpants are awesome, but I know Donkey hates them.

2 minutes and 29 seconds of pure crazy

I'll have what she's having.

WTF!?!?

To quote Amy Winehouse...  What kind of f***ery is this?

Are they a couple?  Does Billy Corgan need *that* kind of publicity?  

This reminds me of a line of thought I had yesterday... What if Kurt Cobain didn't kill himself?  Would he still be grungey?  Or would he be a new-age hipster?  Would he be a secluded aging rocker like Eddie Vedder or would he dress like a douchebag and date whores like Tila Tequila?

What happened to integrity? Is it a pre-requisite of the famous to check their senses at the door.  UGH... this picture was too much for my brain to handle this afternoon.

Support Gay Marriage

Get your Groupon

I have an interview with a website called Groupon this morning and I was pretty impressed with the concept, so with the power of caffeine running through my veins I thought would share! It is a deal-a-day website where Groupon makes deals with companies in Chicago (By breaking kneecaps? Kidnapping children? Torturous Karaoke??) to offer a heavily discounted rate.  The catch is the discount is only applied if enough people buy in, but the good thing is you only get charged if enough people buy in, so it is a safe way to get some neat deals.  It is all about the power of collective buying... now can they get a deal with Perez Restaurant, cause that is the only place Donkey and I go.... mmmm 2-for-1 burritos.

GROUPON

http://groupon.thepoint.com/chicago

For the next Chicago Family gathering

I have a "Chicago Family", that is comprised of Vanilla Bear, Polar Bear, BT, German Jones, P-Oven, Be Rad, me (Brown Bear) and the Donkey. We have the best nicknames!
When we get together many goofy things happen, funny things are said, good drinks are mixed (usually by the lovely Vanilla and Polar Bear), food is munched, dance moves improved and improvised, songs are dissected and photos are taken. Which brings me to today's post... Great family portraits. The next Chicago Family get together MUST include some of these great poses:

Classic - minimal smileage




Yoga Love!


For Donkey - South Park portraits?



Jump, for my love!



In and line, saucy look over the shoulder



Hootchy Daughter!

Dolly Parton - Crazy and Bouyant

Dedicated to Brad.

Taj - The oralist

Taj - the headbanger

CUTE!

Watch Cute Girl Flushes Fish on CollegeHumor

Wild Things

Donkey and I talked about the upcoming movie "Where The Wild Things Are" and he thought it would be completely ruined on the big screen and would kill his childhood memory.

He is obviously wrong. As per usual. ZING!

I told him the poster for this movie is amazing. I haven't seen a movie poster in a long time that wasn't completely formulaic.... big airbrushed faces looking goofy or wistful with a creepy house in the background or stupid prop in the shot.

I am looking at you Lindsey.




















But please check out this amazing poster for WTWTA, I was really excited to see what Spike Jonze would do with the movie and after watching the clip below, I can't wait for October.

Lost in Translation

This is a long clip, but one of the funniest parts is about 1:30 into the clip when they talk about adding more ships to reduce the feminine aesthetics of the room.

Is this the worst celebrity home ever?? Ramen noodles and Crunk Energy Juice? Is that all you have in your pantry? I don't think drugs are to blame for their craziness, it is malnutrition. Ok...and the drugs.

Bourdain

I love Anthony Bourdain and I hate Sandra Lee.

I am a food porn junkie, I love the Food Network and can totally take a half day mental vacation watching Tyler Florence basted a rack of lamb and mash me some sweet potatoes.... holla!

But back to my original point, no more tangents... what is up with Sandra Lee and her fake cooking show. I watch it just for giggles sometimes but this Kwanzaa Cake is truly magnificent.



Anthony Bourdain said it best, which is why I exalted him at the beginning of this post:
The most terrifying thing I've seen is her making a Kwanzaa cake. Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream.

Taj - the balancer

Taj - the paramour

Taj - the indecisive

Taj - the bronco

Taj - the wiggler

Taj - the aggressor

Taj - the feisty

What would you do with $500,000?

This prank is hilarious, but if this is every happened to me I would kill someone. There was a previous prank that the CollegeHumor site did in '07 but I haven't seen that one yet. I am looking forward to watching it later tonight and I will post it if it is funny.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

UltraBrown

I found a new blog but I haven't read it yet. It might enter my regular rotation of Feministing, Racialicious and now http://www.ultrabrown.com/.




I found this sweat-shirt (above) and an interesting review on Bobby Jindal. I watched parts of his rebuttal to Obama State of the Union speech and felt a little disappointed. I was excited at the idea of a future powerful political leader for a notoriously closed minded and stereotypically racist political party. Come on Brown man! Everyone thought his cadence and persona was that of a creepy robot who sounded like a mix of Mr. Rogers and my Creationism-praising, black turtleneck-wearing, high-school Physics teacher. [I am not sure how you can believe in science and physics but not believe in Evolution....but that is another story.] My disappointment was not that he is nerdy and weird or Republican, but that he does not embrace anything even remotely ethnic about himself. But I find Jindal creepy because he is so removed from his Hindu roots. I am the last person to throw coconuts at someone that gets integrated into the Western world but there were three things that the UltraBrown blog pointed out - he changed his name (common enough) from Piyush to Bobby, he converted to Christianity (um, ok), and he and his wife mentioned that they didn't follow any Indian traditions at home. The last one really got me thinking about my day to day routine. Donkey asks me to make Indian food, we celebrate Diwali, I fast for Karva Chauth....but what else keeps me tied to my Indian roots? Bollywood? Slumdog Millionaire? Tea in the evening?

I wanted Jindal to tear it up! I want him to be a galvanizing leader because I would be so very very amused to see Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin forced to look at a Brown man as their leader. As a side note, Rush Limbaugh is a utterly grotesque and souless monster who sings songs about "Barack the Magic Negro" on his show and discuss the merits of slavery and his popularity utterly scares me.

Instead of loving Jindal I find that he is another source of my cultural ennui.

Dedicated to my sick friend Seb and Nurse R-Star

My friend Seb is sick and has to go to the doctor today... If he gets that awesome cough syrup that Lil Wayne drinks we will have an awesome party this weekend.

I really hope he feels better soon... and to assist in the healing I thought I would post the funniest animal rant I could find on Fuck You Penguin, because I know Seb loves goofy animals.

Oh, wow, stellar performance there, hot shot. I forgot how people are always saying "You have got to go to the aquarium to hear the music, they are really tearing shit up over there." Next stop, the Times Square subway station, right? Okay now, don't even tell me you think you can play saxophone, Walrus. Last time I checked you needed distinguishable digits to use the keys, asshole. And dude, you have got to calm down a little bit. You might want to stay for the rest of the show. Do you see dolphins or whales playing instruments? No, they just jump up out of the ocean and get fish. Instant gratification, Walrus. No need to act like the ugly girl, you have a mustache and little tusks. You are hilarious! I mean, Jesus Christ, Walrus, INSTEAD OF HANDS YOU HAVE FLIPPERS. Start respecting yourself, and people will start respecting you.

http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/

Dedicated to our neighbours, hip hop, and my slutty dog

Taj got some action last night at our neighbours house, but we were too busy eating the BEST fried chicken I have ever had in my life. Crispy skin, deliciously drenched in hot sauce, seasoned to utter perfection. Hot fire.

This post is dedicated to my neighbours... thanks for feeding us 2 nights in a row!

singing in the rain.

We just HAD to go out for Mexican food.

Chips and salsa would make us FEEL better.

OMG we need to get out of the house.

Irony

I have been away... life has been demanding and I refuse to comment beyond that. Buy me a chocolate bar the next time you see me.

But I am back with something so baffling and strange that I had to share....

This is a hipster's ironic wet dream.

Jamie Foxx + Ron Howard + Crystal product shots + Jake Jill-an-haul (however you spell his name) + dancing pandas = uh... am I getting punk'd?

Awkward.

Dear friends. Donkey and I had a Valentine's Day get together. Things got MAD AWKWARD when someone mentioned sexual preferences.

AWKWARD!!!

I told everyone about this funny video and never shared it.... I am really digging the College Humor/Humour show on VH1MTV (I can't tell them apart) and this was the promised video that I forgot to find the link to.... enjoy....

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1826271

Is it wrong that this made me hungry for KMac's chocolate cake?

I want one!!!

Can someone get me this adorable plump asian friend? I LURVE him.



BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

Oh Yeah! Oh No...

This is dedicated to Donkey. He knows why this is funny.

Dancing Queen

This is dedicated with love and affection to my Dancing King... Big Couzin P. Cause he is olive-skinn'd, funky and free.

I WANT ONE....

Kingsford Goes to the Beach - video powered by Metacafe

GUS

I talked to the Ambassador East hotel this morning and the front desk guy was named Gus....

I like the name Gus.... Future dog name? Kids? A name for KMac's impressive skull and rabbit collection of jewelery?

I "goog'd" and this is what I found:

Plot summary for Gus (1976) The California Atoms are in last place with no hope of moving up. But by switching the mule from team mascot to team member, (He can kick 100 yard field goals!) they start winning, and move up in the rankings, Hurrah! The competition isn't so happy

Pepper

I had a moment while getting coffee this morning.

In the kitchen they have coffee, tea, sugar, cream, cutlery, plates, napkins, the remains of my dignity, salt and pepper.

I misread the pepper packet and thought is said "Peper" which freaked me out. I wondered what a low-grade "Peper" would be made of:

- 10% real black pepper to retain that taste;

- pencil shavings;

- old man beard shavings;

- cardboard ground up and dyed;

- tobacco;

- dandruff;

- panda toe nails.

Did you know that black pepper can be used to heal cuts? Put it on a fresh wound and it will stop the bleeding and heals the wound and minimize scars.

Did you know that black pepper killed Jimmy Hoffa? He was using it to increase circulation and it caused too much circulatory stimulation and it aged him like Benjamin Button IN REVERSE.

Kayne

For Donkey, who said he hasn't seen any of Kayne's new videos....



KANYE WEST "Welcome To Heartbreak" Directed by Nabil from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

Living under a dark cloud

Ancient pictures...

Was redirected to a website that converts new pictures into grainy old pictures... wow... if it wasn't 4:47 this could have been a big time-waster for me...



http://labs.wanokoto.jp/olds

The site is in Japanese, but it is easy to understand....

Question?

I think it is a legitimate question.

The answer... Elton John. Rocketman.

"and I think it's going to be a long long time...."

See my previous post, I've been listening to oldies all day today and it is penetrating my brain (in a lovely way)... I just heard "Sweet Home Alabama" and it gave me a flashback of Big Cousin D throwing that chorus into all the other songs that were played at my brother's wedding last weekend.... It actually made sense at the time.

Emotions

My boss is convinced that our team would benefit from listening to music through the day, perhaps to alleviate the terrible mood we are all in or maybe he read in a "management" book that music in the office = productivity.

But do we get an XM account? No.
Do we get a PC to play music online? No.
Do we get an ipod dock? No.

We have to listen to music on the radio. Does anyone know how terrible music is on the radio these days... stations like The Mix only play 5 songs and I have now officially heard "Let It Rock" and "Just Dance" enough times to associate pop music with the misery of working. I want to cry when I hear Taylor Swift singing about Romeo and Juliet.... I die a little on the inside everytime I hear Pink talk about losing her husband and being an annoying whore in general (sorry KMac). The sick thing is that after news surfaced that Rihanna was beat up by Chris Brown this horrid station started playing "Disturbia" once an hour. I counted. They don't play "Umbrella" and they don't played "Stop the Music", they play the song about being obsessively in love and not being able to think start and make logical decisions..."Hmm... my boyfriend bites my face in a not-sexy way. I should love him more!"

So this morning I threw a temper tantrum and ranted about all of the above. We found an oldies station and I feel a lot better. I heard this song and it got stuck in my head.... Happy Valentine's Day!




And of course, this made me think of Mariah.... Love you B-Town!

Kittens. Inspired by Kittens.

The best line in this video?

"I am her mommy"
whispering "No, she's not"

Awkward!

Ginger

I hate the taste of ginger. My husband is afraid of gingers. This is why we love. I think I have succumbed (oh dear) to that familiar pattern of absorbing all the likes and dislikes of my husband because when I saw this pictorial on The Daily Mail (more on that later) that was one woman's attempt to highlight the beauty of the traditional UK redhead...and I was kind of scared.

As for The Daily Mail... It is the worst, I know. It is one of my guilty pleasures (along with Sean Paul and peanut butter and maple syrup toast).

Craigslist - you can get ANYTHING here!

Here is a posting from Craigslist that cracked me up. Can I get a time machine to transport me to 2pm this afternoon when I decided to get that treacherous 2nd cup of coffee that is now burning a hole in my stomach.


Wanted: time machine DESPARATE!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-01-12, 5:53PM MST

Desperately need a time machine to take me back 6 weeks in time, plus or minus a day. If you have a time machine and are willing to let me borrow it, or know of someone with an impending trip back in time, please let me know ASAP!

I will pay big bucks to have myself warned to NOT sleep with that tramp at the One and Only Bar on the Boulevard.

Tell me that she is very, VERY fertile that night in question, and has a whopping 3 STDs that I will get if I copulate with her.

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!

I WILL WRITE YOU A BLANK CHECK IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES!

Key things that will let the me in the past know you are for real:

*Tell me that you know about the rubber ducky incident

*Tell me that you know that I pissed in my friends pool last week, when he was in it.

*Tell me that no matter how hard I try, the lesbian at Barnes and Noble will NEVER go for it, no matter how many sex books I ask her opinions on.

If I still doubt you- use this one-----

*Mention that you know I made out with my cousin when we were drunk at a kegger last summer- NO ONE KNOWS THIS BUT US TWO!!

VERY VERY IMPORTANT THAT I GET THIS MESSAGE!!!

Chun Li

I know two boys that will be first in line to see this movie.

Fur Baby

I miss my fur baby....

REEEEMIX

Green Apples

So much has happened in the 5 days... too much drama to re-live and I have no desire to get into... maybe one day you will buy me a drink and I will whine about my feelings. I like gin.

Here are some random thoughts:
1) The best revenge to dish out to an idiotic boss is to find something better and tell him to suck it.
2) I am still dealing with disappointment... but I am dealing with it by helping those that let me down. I don't know why I am turning my cheek and I am even more sad that others are telling me I am crazy for being so forgiving... I don't want to be mean and I don't want to be manipulated and there is a fine line between the two.
3) I love coming home. Mom makes me grilled cheese sandwiches and I watch Coronation Street with my Dad.
4) I am sad about Ruby Room closing, it was a great space for yoga and I am sad that I will not get to have my weekly sessions with my Chicago Family. My cousin would have made it the hip new place to go, if only he was given the chance.
5) I found a video I took of my husband enjoying a green apple and it made me laugh in these stressful times.

Donkey

This clip is so subversive and wrong. I don't want to smoke ass cigarettes... but a part of me wonders if I would look cooler if I did??

Love

http://iloveyoumorethanblank.com/

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it....

I am so excited to head back to Toronto for my brother's wedding. They are one of the most compatible couples I know and both have great senses of humour AND will hopefully make me an Auntie soon. I have seen some of the outfits and I predict they will also be the most stylish bride and groom I have seen.

Things I am looking forward to:
- Food from Cuisine of India...yum;
- Dancing with my little sister Jackie;
- Donkey in an Indian kurta (will he wear the curled-toed shoes?);
- Avoiding drama with my Mary J. Blige "No More Drama" umbrella (is this possible at an Indian wedding?);
- Gin;
- My lovely Chicago friends making a rowdy appearance;
- Sneaking away to drink clandestine shots;
- Mugging away in candid shots;
- Wedding cake;
- New saris!!!

Louis Vuitton Don

What exactly is wrong with Kayne West?

Seriously. For reals.

I know all that is right with Kayne West:
- Gutsy with his music and not afraid to try new things;
- From Chicago;
- Buys me really cool candy from Japan and we laugh for hours about squid lollipops.

But what is so very very wrong about Kayne West:
- He can't sing live;
- He obviously has his puffy face so far up his own ass that he is suffering from oxygen depravation... or he is high on cocaine.



A message from kwest on Vimeo.

So Cute It Makes Me Vomit

My 7:30-5 routine gets me down sometimes... so nothing makes me happier than a lot of vitriolic hatred handed down to the cutest animals this planet has to offer.

Fuck You Penguin is an educational site, it has taught me to hate cute animals because they are obviously trying to take over the world.
http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/
Monday, December 1, 2008
Oh, now orange isn't cute enough?



















What the hell do you think you are doing, Tiger? You are destroying my ability to function as a responsible member of society what with your extremely rare and yet equally extremely cute little appearance. At this point in life you have two choices: grow the fuck up and dye your hair orange like a NORMAL FUCKING TIGER or just jam a knife into my skull and put an end to my misery. Dammit, Tiger. I literally hate you.



The stingray that killed Steve Irwin was cute at some point and look what it did to the beloved Crocodile Hunter? Kittens are adorable, but according to this t-shirt they have treacherous thoughts. And what about the army of puppies that threw that violent military coup in Peru. Never let your guard down.
















And this little shit-head is officially the worst offender. Why don't eat the carpet, snore all night long and bark at the neighbours some more? She is essentially Baby Satan wrapped in a fuzzy coat.