I have no desire to see this movie. A friend bought me the book for Christmas one year and I found it insulting that she thought I needed the advice.
I will probably never see this movie for many reason: (1) I can't stand the Mac guy; (2) I also hate the guy from Entourage; (3) I hate Drew Barrymore; (4) I basically hate a lot of people in this movie... but this video actually made me laugh.
What other cliches did this video miss? Renee "Squirrel-Face" Zellewegger or Kate Hudson in the lead role. The sweet scent of humiliation? Wind machines? Binge drinking? Goat wrestling?
I might have issues....
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Lil Wayne for President?
This has nothing to do with Lil Wayne and Obama, but I read a review of a Lil Wayne documentary that is playing at Sundance and it sounds bat-shit crazy. Here is the review:
Our eyes have barely adjusted after emerging from the Egyptian Theatre for a packed screening of The Carter, Adam Lough's riveting, all-access Lil Wayne documentary. Here's five things we learned about the rap genius:
1. His first sexual experience was at age 11, in front of a packed house.Wayne teases a 15-year-old hanging out amongst his entourage about his virginity, leading into a graphic retelling of his "rape" ("..and I loved it") at age 11. His older friends ordered the group's Honorary Ho to service the young Dwayne Carter. "That's when I became Lil Wayne," he recalls with bravado—though his eyes suggest he's still a little fucked up from the experience.
2. He never writes anything down.As hard as it is to believe, he stores it all in his head. Nothing gets jotted down. Not lyrics, not thoughts, not ideas for future songs. He has a portable studio that he carries around in a black bag, allowing him to record tracks literally anywhere. He says "with all respect to my man Kurt" (Cobain—a huge influence), he doesn't want his diaries sold after his death.
3. Sippin' on sizzurp is getting to be a problem.Wayne is frequently seen pouring his beloved "syrup" into large bottles of soda and sipping on the deadly concoction. While he defiantly refuses to acknowledge it's an addiction, it's pretty obvious it is. DJ/manager Cortez Bryant, the doc's secondary subject, refuses to get on the tour bus because of how it makes Weezy act.
4. His 12-year-old daughter Reginae has inherited his rap chops.Sitting on her bed and positively beaming with pride over her dad, Weezy's impossibly cute daughter Reginae launches into a flow ("...I'm the heir to the throne...") that would put most aspiring rappers to shame.
5. Lil Wayne For President in 2012.You watch Wayne submit to countless interviews throughout the film, frequently losing patience with their questions ("Do you write poetry?" "Have you ever pictured your own death?"). But one question—"What would be your presidential platform?"—gets a hilarious response, in which the multi-platinum recording artist explains he'd legalize "weed first. I'd do that twice," that he'd "put cocaine back in Coca Cola," "get rid of alimony and prenups," and lift the ban on all steroids and growth hormone in professional sports.
Our eyes have barely adjusted after emerging from the Egyptian Theatre for a packed screening of The Carter, Adam Lough's riveting, all-access Lil Wayne documentary. Here's five things we learned about the rap genius:
1. His first sexual experience was at age 11, in front of a packed house.Wayne teases a 15-year-old hanging out amongst his entourage about his virginity, leading into a graphic retelling of his "rape" ("..and I loved it") at age 11. His older friends ordered the group's Honorary Ho to service the young Dwayne Carter. "That's when I became Lil Wayne," he recalls with bravado—though his eyes suggest he's still a little fucked up from the experience.
2. He never writes anything down.As hard as it is to believe, he stores it all in his head. Nothing gets jotted down. Not lyrics, not thoughts, not ideas for future songs. He has a portable studio that he carries around in a black bag, allowing him to record tracks literally anywhere. He says "with all respect to my man Kurt" (Cobain—a huge influence), he doesn't want his diaries sold after his death.
3. Sippin' on sizzurp is getting to be a problem.Wayne is frequently seen pouring his beloved "syrup" into large bottles of soda and sipping on the deadly concoction. While he defiantly refuses to acknowledge it's an addiction, it's pretty obvious it is. DJ/manager Cortez Bryant, the doc's secondary subject, refuses to get on the tour bus because of how it makes Weezy act.
4. His 12-year-old daughter Reginae has inherited his rap chops.Sitting on her bed and positively beaming with pride over her dad, Weezy's impossibly cute daughter Reginae launches into a flow ("...I'm the heir to the throne...") that would put most aspiring rappers to shame.
5. Lil Wayne For President in 2012.You watch Wayne submit to countless interviews throughout the film, frequently losing patience with their questions ("Do you write poetry?" "Have you ever pictured your own death?"). But one question—"What would be your presidential platform?"—gets a hilarious response, in which the multi-platinum recording artist explains he'd legalize "weed first. I'd do that twice," that he'd "put cocaine back in Coca Cola," "get rid of alimony and prenups," and lift the ban on all steroids and growth hormone in professional sports.
Courtesy of Seth from Defamer.com
Donkey
My husband, aka Donkey just emailed me:
"if you start writing deep stuff about our relationship - using a nice pen name for me - I will blow up the internet.....it's a series of tubes."
It's bananas... B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Unfortunately I don't have any dirt on Donkey... but I will think of something.
Wyatt Cenac - Imaginary friend #1
I want to nominate Wyatt Cenac as my first imaginary friend. I think he is hilarious on The Daily Show and I would be interested in seeing him in something dramatic (I am all about the DRRRAMA). This movie appeals to my girly side, my uterus shrieks a little everytime I indulge it and watch "a chick flick".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi6w2nDfqWc
Watch any of his segments on the Daily Show, he kills me... these are my two favourites:
"I've got TWO MINUTES people!!"
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=189750&title=cenac-election-impatience
You have to wait until 2:03 to see my buddy, but it is worth it to his jokes:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=209420&title=sarah-palin-is-so-dumb...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi6w2nDfqWc
Watch any of his segments on the Daily Show, he kills me... these are my two favourites:
"I've got TWO MINUTES people!!"
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=189750&title=cenac-election-impatience
You have to wait until 2:03 to see my buddy, but it is worth it to his jokes:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=209420&title=sarah-palin-is-so-dumb...
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Cringe worthy words
There are many things that make me cringe. Ben Stiller. Books about adolescences. Ginger in tea. Denture commercials.
There are many words that my friends have been discussing for TWO years that have a sincere reason for being a part of the English language, but they sound dirty. I am proud to finally commit these words to "paper". This has been a project that has titillated my friends and family for a long time and now I will share that list with you, gentle reader.
1) Titillate
2) Moist
3) Succumb
4) Penetrate
5) Succulent
More to come....
There are many words that my friends have been discussing for TWO years that have a sincere reason for being a part of the English language, but they sound dirty. I am proud to finally commit these words to "paper". This has been a project that has titillated my friends and family for a long time and now I will share that list with you, gentle reader.
1) Titillate
2) Moist
3) Succumb
4) Penetrate
5) Succulent
More to come....
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